Posts Tagged ‘parent’

Do you have the “D” factor?

Wednesday, May 8th, 2013

Confession time:  I dragged my feet on this post and seriously thought about not writing for you this week.

There is SO much going on right now, with the end of school for my kiddos and some fabulous (but time-consuming) new developments at ClickAClass.  I was tempted to give it the old “I just don’t have time” excuse….the “I can’t make it perfect, so I won’t make it at all” excuse….the dreaded “one time doesn’t really matter” excuse.

And then I realized that NOT HAVING TIME this is one of the top three reasons that most moms give for not exercising.  Probably in the top three for anybody at all.  And it’s not good enough. 

Actions speak louder than words.  What you do matters more than what you say.  What basis do I have to coach and cajole you, saying “if it’s important, you’ll make the time” — when I’m not doing the same myself?

(Answer:  none.  No basis.)

So, I’M HERE.  This post isn’t perfect.  I can tell already that it’s a little aimless, a little stream-of-consciousness.  The grammar stinks.  I’m using improper ellipses and plenty of sentence fragments.  And already I can tell you that I won’t take time at the end to proofread it because I’m practicing the fine art of putting it out there and then letting go.

Self-discipline is easily one of my personal core values.  I grew up in a physical discipline (ballet); my parents taught me the power of discipline at home (do your homework first, then play…dinner first, then dessert….brush teeth, then go to bed…); yoga and other studies since have given me peace through self-discipline of the mind and heart (keeping the mind steady…keeping quiet unless there’s something kind and valuable to say…).

Self Discipline Cat and Dogs

 

It takes work.  It takes practice.  It’s not easy and it’s rarely perfect — but that’s life, right?  Self-discipline prepares you for all of life.  And when I look back on my life, I want to know that I did my best as many times as possible.

What about you?

What role does self-discipline play in your life?

If you could change that role, how would it be different?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Are you missing the point of “mastery”?

Wednesday, May 1st, 2013

I’m excited to bring you a guest post this week from Master Curtis Mast, the founder of Atlanta’s United Tae Kwon Do.  Master Mast is a Kukkiwon certified 6th degree black belt (Dan) and has been studying Taekwondo for over twenty years.  His background boasts a unique blend of both traditional and sport Taekwondo.

Sure, we have a personal connection — he’s a neighbor, friend, and my childrens’ Taekwondo teacher.  But his most recent blog post struck me as so universal that it’s bigger than an acquaintance, and I have to share it with you.  In it, he talks about what it means to be a master.  When can you truly say you have “mastered” anything

Running?

A form of dance?

Parenting?

Training clients?

A foreign language?

Writing?

You see how this can apply to almost any skill?  I can’t think of a single thing that can dodge the question, “what achieves mastery?”

In his post, Master Mast says, “A true Master can make a front stance with a low block look just as a amazing as breaking bricks, or effortlessly defending against an attacker.  With each block, stance or kick, a Master is always looking at how to make it better.”  This reminds me of a quote I loved growing up.  Of course, now I can’t remember the exact words or who said it – either Balanchine or Baryshnikov, I think — something like “a real dancer can break a sweat just standing in first position.”

So, please read his post in this spirit, all the way to the surprise ending – and ask yourself what you’re trying to master, and what mastery means to you.  Then, go out and DO it!  Use “not only…muscles and tendons, but…spirit and being” — there’s no other like yours.

 

Master Curtis Mast of Atlanta's United Tae Kwon Do

Master Curtis Mast
of Atlanta’s United Tae Kwon Do

I’m frequently asked to recommend a book for students, and my answer is always the same: “There is no best Taekwondo book.  You must find one that resonates with you”.  There are hundreds of books out there.  And each has just a little gem buried inside if you’re willing to look for it.

I’m constantly trying to find another great Taekwondo or martial art book.  Something to build my library.  Something to inspire me.  Something to help me grow.  Something to fill the empty space of knowledge that seems to actually grow in me year after year.

Used bookstores are my favorite hunting grounds.  Musty smells, dark wood shelves, dust, and dog-eared pages. And most importantly, no Starbucks.

I recently came across Clearing the Clouds; Nine Lessons for Life from the Martial Arts by Stephen Fabian.  A light, thin, quick-read paperback, this little wonder is truly a gem and pleasure to read.  The author shares his personal journey through life and martial arts, and offers as the title suggests, nine lessons of personal improvement he has learned from the martial arts.

Clearing the Clouds got me thinking about what is means to be a Master Instructor, and how I got to where I am today.  It was only yesterday I was a 16 year old, non-flexible, stiff as a board, but highly motivated teenager training in the driveway in Rome, NY, with my one-day-to-be-father in law as my first instructor.

Fast forward a couple years, and I was a black belt.  Then, I blinked and I was moving up the ranks.  2nd degree, 3rd degree.  It was when I
was a 3rd degree, on a trip to Korea that I knew I wanted to become a Master and one day own and operate my own school.

According to the rules of the Kukkiwon  anyone holding a 4th degree black belt (DAN) or higher is entitled be called Sa Bum Nim.  Loosely translated this means, “Master Instructor” or just ”Master”.  So how does one become a Master?

For me, the title of “Master” held a mystical and magical meaning for many years.  Men and women I that trained under that were so far more physically gifted than I.  They were amazing; Inspiring; Life changing and in some cases life-saving.

Mastery is built from the very first day. The practice of basic techniques over and over again.  Basic techniques lead to intermediate techniques.  Intermediate techniques lead to advanced techniques.  But all throughout the training, the basics are never forgotten, never consigned to oblivion.  A true Master can make a front stance with a low block look just as a amazing as breaking bricks, or effortlessly defending against an attacker.  With each block, stance or kick, a Master is always looking at how to make it better.  Fabian writes, “Ultimately, this is the way to Mastery;  the enduring process of discovery and knowledge, applied in the forging of stronger and better technique, form and self”.

It is through the repeated practice, persistence, self-discipline and rising-up and returning after failure and frustration that we work toward
Mastery.  “Not only is true mastery in the application of form and technique possible only with a deeper mastery of the self, but  it is through the long and challenging process of mastering an artistic Way that the self can and must be mastered.  Resolve and courage result from frequent confrontations with and efforts to surpass our limitations and weaknesses…By daring, time after time, to confront and exceed our deficiencies, debilities and pain we forge a stronger, more resilient and less perturbable spirit.” [Fabian]

I’ve written before that to move the the next level of Taekwondo, one must perform a technique not only with muscles and tendons, but with spirit and being. “To Master the Way is to become an artist in your heart and soul.”  [Fabian]

We study a Martial ART.  The art is supposed to be beautiful.  Supposed to inspire.  “A technique is not just technically correct, but also full of beauty and meaning…Eventually, the punch, sword cut, brush stroke, or musical chord becomes effortless and richly expressive, a delight to the senses and soul of performer and spectator alike.” [Fabian]

But so what?  What are you doing with that talent?  “All of the effort we put into our own personal development is worth nothing if is isn’t somehow put into use for the benefit of others”. [Fabian]

The true meaning of being a Master, is not what you are called, but what you have become, and what you offer your students and give back  to them.  Do you care for them?  Motivate them?  Encourage them?  Support them?  Inspire them?

THIS is what it means to be a true Master.

Reposted with permission – original post here.

Did you enjoy this post?  Please tell Master Mast!  Go “like” Atlanta’s United Tae Kwon Do on Facebook, comment here, or click to tweet:

What have you truly mastered?  Or what would you like to master?

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What’s “Walkability” and Why Should I Care?

Tuesday, March 26th, 2013

Photo by Dan Burden
http://www.pedbikeimages.org/largeimages/wi.madison.bikers3-large.jpg

 

What’s “walkability” and why should I care about it?   Why should a mom or a fitness trainer care?

 

That’s the same question I had, too — and then I had the privilege of being invited to participate in a walkability study in my city.

 

To borrow from Walkable Communities, Inc., a walkable place gives residents safe transportation choices and an improved quality of life.   Think of historic cities and towns — and think of the history behind them (i.e., we haven’t always had cars, remember?).  They’re the places where and the ways that people lived before cars made it so easy to get across town.

 

I should tell you here that one of my biggest dreams — even before I knew I ever wanted children — was to live in a place that kids (any kids!) could walk to school.  Yes, I grew up watching the “Andy Griffith Show” and reading “Dennis the Menace” in the weekly comics.  Don’t judge me.  Those things were shown because that’s how people lived, that’s what they did, and I thought it was good.  It was happy.  Simple.  Clean.  Comfortable.  Fun.  (Think of the trouble Opie got into on the walk to and from school!)

 

photo courtesy of answers.com

 

Eventually, I found myself living in a modern-day Mayberry (well, almost).   There’s a barber shop on the corner; people have lived here for generations and married grade-school sweethearts; neighbors scold each others’ kids when needed; nobody uses turn signals because you already know where everyone’s turning.  And, thanks to The Museum School, there’s an amazing school we walk to every day.   (I even helped organize an annual fundraiser there, Family Fun Fitness Day, which happened over the weekend.  That explains why I haven’t posted much lately!)

 

BUT.

 

That doesn’t make it walkable. 

 

There’s also other traffic from outside the city limits — and y’all, it’s fast.  Fast and loud.  The sidewalks need help, and the downtown area is working on a facelift.  Nobody gathers in the city center right now because it’s noisy and there’s not enough commerce to draw people there and fight the noise.  It’s scary to cross the major 4- lane street separating the residential area from the commercial district — scary even for adults, let alone allowing kids to do it independently.

 

Turns out, my dream of walking to school is a bona fide component of a walkable community.  Their Healthy Development Checklist even says so!

Can the majority of people walk safely and comfortably in ten minutes (2500 feet), and without crossing dangerous intersections to an elementary school?

 

 

So here’s how this all ties into ClickAClass.com and its mission to get families moving:

  • Walking is one of the best and most accessible ways for the majority of people to get up and move — it’s one of the best modes of exercise there is.
  • Walking in your own neigborhood (not driving to a trail or a track but simply walking out the front door) is the most convenient way to do that.
  • Walking outdoors isn’t just good for the body, it’s good for the mind.
  • It’s good for families, because accountability (in a family or any group) promotes adherence to any exercise program.
  • Adherence to exercise leads to dropping rates of obesity and its attendant horsemen of the health apocalypse.
  • IT JUST PLAIN HELPS HEALTH.

 

Is your city walkable?  Find out by comparing it to this list of 5 traits.

Do you want it to be more walkable?

What could you do, starting today, to make it more walkable?

 

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5 “Dare You To Keep A Straight Face” Kids Exercise Challenges

Wednesday, September 12th, 2012

If you’ve been around here before, you know I’m a big fan of getting kids to exercise with you.  Here are 5 easy, fun ways to get children moving — and I dare ya not to join in the fun!

1.    Old-school hopscotch.  You know the drill:  get out the sidewalk chalk and mark out your blocks for hopping on one foot or two.  Take it up a notch by curving the path or including new symbols and motions.  Instead of a square for “hop on foot”, make it a triangle for “balance on one foot and touch here with your hand”.  A circle can mean “do a jump-turn!”  Have the kids come up with their own hopscotch language.  Or draw disconnected shapes and jump from one to the other in a game of Hot Lava — the shapes are “safe spots”, and all other space is molten rock.

2.  Dance party.  Put on some of your favorite tunes from back in the day (obviously, review the lyrics first) and hang the imaginary disco ball.  You might be amazed at some new common musical ground you find.  Turn it into a game by making a “freeze dance”:  dance while the music is on, freeze when either of you hits the pause button.  Challenge your party to dance HIGH to the sky or looooooow to the ground.  Dance on one foot!  Spin and dance dizzy (in a safe place, of course)!

3.  Get your stretch on.  Introduce kids to yoga without even mentioning it’s good for them, simply by inviting them to enact different animals.  How can you move like a giraffe?  Stretch like a dog; arch like a cat.  Flip over and do a crab-walk (on all fours with the tummy facing up).  Or bear-walk on all fours without the knees touching the ground.

4.    Good ol’ field day games.  The three-legged race and wheelbarrow come to mind.  For the former, strap one of your legs to your child’s (or theirs to each other) and try to get from start to finish without falling down laughing.  To play wheelbarrow, one player assumes push-up position and the other takes his/her ankles in hand — player 1 walks the hands along the floor while player 2 follows behind.

5.  Walk like an Egyptian.  Or a dinosaur.  Or a circus performer.  Or any other creature that inspires you.  Particularly useful is anything GIANT, so that you take long, lunging steps forward.  Another goodie is a walk that requires balance, like a circus tightrope walker — lay out a strip of tape or a jump rope and get the kids to balance as they walk along it.  Get creative and don’t restrict yourself to two feet — try one, three, or four as well!  Then kick it up a notch by turning your funny walks into a game of tag.

 

What are your best tricks to get the kiddos up and moving –

for getting those adorable sweet potatoes off the couch?

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The Playground Workout – aka, Don’t Just Sit There

Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

Ready for a little tough love?

Brace yourself.

I’m often amazed at the numbers of people (let’s just say it:  usually moms, like me) sitting on the park bench at my local playground, idly watching their children play while they complain about being out of shape.

I get it — believe me, I get it.  I have 2 little ones and 2 businesses and very little spare time.  For me, that means I need to make the most of the time I have (rather than complaining about not having enough of it).  I have the same number of hours in every day that each Olympic athlete has, after all — and so do you.

So rather than sitting, moaning and groaning about your lack of time, why not use it to get the very thing you want?  Put your body where your complaint is.

Here’s the tough love part:  “Get off your bum and do something, instead of bitching about it.”

 

At the park with your kids?

  • Challenge them to a race across the monkey bars (upper-body benefit).
  • Get down on all fours, and bear crawl the width of a field with the kids (full-body workout — you’ll see!).
  • Pushing them on the swings, keep your elbows to the front at shoulder level; on the push, extend hands straight out in front (firms up the “bingo wings”).
  • See who can hop the longest distance – do it on both legs, then each leg separately (for legs and cardio/plyometrics).
  • Flip over your bear crawl from above, and crab-walk instead (full-body workout in the rear).
  • Balance on a swing, holding chains with both hands and lifting your legs straight out to the front while sitting up straight and tall; work toward leaning back and lifting legs to make a V-shape at the hips (abs, abs, and more abs).
  • Bonus points:  get back to the monkey bars for a pull-up or two (upper-body).

….Oh, and in addition to all the body benefits I just mentioned, you’ll also get a giant boost of hugs and kisses from your kids who appreciate that you’ve truly played with them instead of checking emails and all the other stuff you do while sitting on that bench.

Isn’t that so much better than grumbling about your figure?  Yup — and sets a better example for the kiddos, too.  Feel free to gloat among the other moms, still sitting idle — and you can tell ‘em I said so.

 

 

 

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No Time — or No Claim?

Tuesday, March 27th, 2012

I had another epiphany in the shower this morning.  More of my epiphanies than I care to count come to me when I’m doing something mindless like showering — but I digress.

In the midst of reflecting on ClickAClass.com and its reasons for being (actually, I was honing my sales pitch for Shark Tank, but that’s our secret, okay?), I realized that it wasn’t a lack of time but a dwindling identity that helped me create the site.

You see, in the early, hazy days of motherhood, I thought that what I really needed was more time.  I was time-starved:  no time to relax; no time to work out; no time to just be alone; no time for an extra cup of coffee; no time for dance or yoga class; no time to cuddle up and watch a movie with my husband.

Maybe that was all true, at least on some days.  But it wasn’t really about time, was it?  I could have made it work — after all, I’m given the same 24-hour trip that everyone else gets each day and I’m usually pretty good at managing it.

It was more about identity than time.  I didn’t know that these things were so critical to answering the big WHO – AM – I questions that, as a spring chicken, I thought were ridiculous.  I had no clue that I had to claim these stakes, like pioneers in the wild west, in order to feel like myself.  And I certainly didn’t feel entitled to claim them.  After all, I had not DONE anything all day (or so went my thinking).  If only I had read this post from my friend Kelle Sparta back then.

So the opportunities to hit the gym, to take a dance class, to practice yoga — these were all things that helped me feel like ME, only I didn’t know it until after the fact.  I thought I created ClickAClass.com because I didn’t have enough time anymore.  But, really, it was about reconnecting with lost parts of my Self.

How many other moms are losing themselves without even knowing it?

And how can I help them grab a flag, shove it in the dirt, and stake that claim?

 

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